+ Justin got 10 hours of sleep last night!
– Justin slept too long, so his lower back is a little wonky and it’s cold outside of bed.
+ Justin is full of energy
– Justin squanders said energy on mundane, stupid tasks and gets nothing of worth accomplished
+ Justin finds a buyer for his old Mac, gets a good price for it
– Justin almost blows it several times by not giving the buyer the right information
+ Justin is healthy by not eating most of the day
– Justin blows it big time and orders a large 3-topping, dripping cholesterol-fest from Papa Johns
+ Justin doesn’t eat the whole thing, for once.
– Never mind, it was an extra large. Those two extra slices he didn’t eat were probably the difference.
+ Justin goes to deposit money from the Mac, thinking how smart he is
– Justin hates self, has several vurps on trip to deposit money order
+ Justin goes to gym
– Justin is lulled into worry and self doubt by listening to too much financial collapse news from NPR podcast
+ Justin finds decent music on iPod instead, and does his elliptical machine like a good boy
– The music is “Maniac” from Flashdance. Justin is ashamed.
+ Justin buys fruit on his way home
– Once home, Justin pours a glass of water from Brita pitcher. He notices halfway through the glass that the water is much darker than it should be, and it’s not just a reflection from his stained countertop.
+ Justin unwraps vintage anime trinket from sister
– Anime trinket is mysteriously coated in greasy substance, direct from the package. Justin reads the back: “Made in China”. Justin washes his new trinket and his hands vigorously, and prays that whatever industrial lubricant that was doesn’t give him cancer
+ Justin goes to bed
– Justin gets out of bed because he’s not all that tired, plus he’s bored and a little hungry
+ Justin snacks on fresh produce
——- JUSTIN SEES A GIGANTIC FUCKING COCKROACH THE SIZE OF A SCREWDRIVER HANDLE! IT’S SO BIG IT MAKES A NOISE! He kills it with his giant tin of Quaker Oats, injuring his pinky finger in the process. Utterly freaked out, he ladles the corpse into the trash with a paper towel and moans about how much he hates this fucking city.
+ Justin says “fuck it” and eats the two leftover slices of pizza.
– Oh, you certainly don’t think Justin can sleep NOW, do you???